Welcome to the
Order of the Steel Magnolias
Website
As our nation struggles with the controversy of all things Confederate, truly, this is not what the Order of the Steel Magnolias is about. The American Civil War may forever be debated, however, the women of the Southland who were left behind, faced the formidable task at hand…simple daily survival. Our organization honors these who were also casualties of the War Between the States. The Steel Magnolias who struggled on with grace, dignity, and strength.
History tells us of hundreds of women who disguised themselves as men and fought in the War. Women like Belle Boyd served as spies. You can read books on their lives but what about the average Southern woman? Thousands of ladies that stepped out of their traditional household roles to manage farms, stores, and businesses when their men went off to war. These Southern women showed great courage and strength. They accomplished what women had never accomplished before.
When the hospitals were overflowing with diseased, wounded, and dying men these same women volunteered as untrained nurses in makeshift hospitals. Soldiers were taken into their homes for care. They must have hoped and prayed that someone somewhere might be doing the same for their husbands or sons. Letters and stories spoke of unfathomable circumstances and unbelievable death tolls. Wives and mothers watched as men were buried in mass graves containing both Confederate and Union dead. They watched as their homes and towns were destroyed or burned. They watched as livestock and crops, their only source of food, were confiscated or destroyed. They anxiously waited for letters that would never come and for their men who would never return.
No reward ever arrived for these Southern women. In the end there was no victory to celebrate. They experienced the overwhelming pain of tremendous and total loss. They lost not only their husbands, sons, brothers, and fathers, but their homes, their way of life, their possessions, their dignity and their pride. Their world, as they had known it, was gone forever…everything was lost. As their courage and determination became desperation, still they stood tall and strong simply because they had to. There was no one left to rely on but themselves. We are left to wonder what prayers they lifted to heaven? What did they most often ask of God? When they sobbed quietly at night; what lay heaviest on their hearts and minds? I do not think any of us can truly imagine the despair and anguish in which they lived. When I think of my Southern grandmothers, I sometimes close my eyes and I can almost feel a touch of their thoughts and prayers whispering to my heart. I ache for their pain and loss.
Historically speaking, the Reconstruction of the South lasted from 1865 to 1877, but we all know the South never truly recovered. It is a vast understatement to say those were extremely difficult years. Towns and homes had been wiped out by the War. Few had money to rebuild. When War pensions were finally granted it was typically only to the physically-disabled soldiers. Men that returned from the War were often mangled ghosts of the men they once were. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD, is rarely talked about during this era, but we know it did indeed exist. When widows were finely eligible for pensions, the documentation describes countless women who never knew what happened to their husbands. They never received news of their deaths. There were no remains to lay to rest and no way of knowing how or where their loved ones died. Husbands, fathers, brothers, and sons simply never returned. This was the heartbreaking reality of far too many ladies in the South. Nothing can compare to a mother losing her only son or in some cases all her sons in battle. While people congratulated the men for their heroism, the utter painful emptiness left in the mother’s soul is beyond comprehension or description. The misery of contemplating their loved one’s death and lost bodies surely led to a lifetime of emptiness and hopelessness. Often it was not their bravery that kept them going it was their inability to make their own heart stop beating. They woke up day after day and their lungs still breathed, their empty hearts still beat.
The Steel Magnolias were those Southern women who struggled and fought daily to keep their homes and families together. They were the women who tended the wounded and buried the dead. We are the descendants of these noble and honorable women. Their hearts and souls are forever a part of us. They are more than worthy of our honor, recognition, and remembrance. They are the Steel Magnolias and they have left us a cherished legacy of courage, dignity, and honor. We must never forget them!
History tells us of hundreds of women who disguised themselves as men and fought in the War. Women like Belle Boyd served as spies. You can read books on their lives but what about the average Southern woman? Thousands of ladies that stepped out of their traditional household roles to manage farms, stores, and businesses when their men went off to war. These Southern women showed great courage and strength. They accomplished what women had never accomplished before.
When the hospitals were overflowing with diseased, wounded, and dying men these same women volunteered as untrained nurses in makeshift hospitals. Soldiers were taken into their homes for care. They must have hoped and prayed that someone somewhere might be doing the same for their husbands or sons. Letters and stories spoke of unfathomable circumstances and unbelievable death tolls. Wives and mothers watched as men were buried in mass graves containing both Confederate and Union dead. They watched as their homes and towns were destroyed or burned. They watched as livestock and crops, their only source of food, were confiscated or destroyed. They anxiously waited for letters that would never come and for their men who would never return.
No reward ever arrived for these Southern women. In the end there was no victory to celebrate. They experienced the overwhelming pain of tremendous and total loss. They lost not only their husbands, sons, brothers, and fathers, but their homes, their way of life, their possessions, their dignity and their pride. Their world, as they had known it, was gone forever…everything was lost. As their courage and determination became desperation, still they stood tall and strong simply because they had to. There was no one left to rely on but themselves. We are left to wonder what prayers they lifted to heaven? What did they most often ask of God? When they sobbed quietly at night; what lay heaviest on their hearts and minds? I do not think any of us can truly imagine the despair and anguish in which they lived. When I think of my Southern grandmothers, I sometimes close my eyes and I can almost feel a touch of their thoughts and prayers whispering to my heart. I ache for their pain and loss.
Historically speaking, the Reconstruction of the South lasted from 1865 to 1877, but we all know the South never truly recovered. It is a vast understatement to say those were extremely difficult years. Towns and homes had been wiped out by the War. Few had money to rebuild. When War pensions were finally granted it was typically only to the physically-disabled soldiers. Men that returned from the War were often mangled ghosts of the men they once were. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD, is rarely talked about during this era, but we know it did indeed exist. When widows were finely eligible for pensions, the documentation describes countless women who never knew what happened to their husbands. They never received news of their deaths. There were no remains to lay to rest and no way of knowing how or where their loved ones died. Husbands, fathers, brothers, and sons simply never returned. This was the heartbreaking reality of far too many ladies in the South. Nothing can compare to a mother losing her only son or in some cases all her sons in battle. While people congratulated the men for their heroism, the utter painful emptiness left in the mother’s soul is beyond comprehension or description. The misery of contemplating their loved one’s death and lost bodies surely led to a lifetime of emptiness and hopelessness. Often it was not their bravery that kept them going it was their inability to make their own heart stop beating. They woke up day after day and their lungs still breathed, their empty hearts still beat.
The Steel Magnolias were those Southern women who struggled and fought daily to keep their homes and families together. They were the women who tended the wounded and buried the dead. We are the descendants of these noble and honorable women. Their hearts and souls are forever a part of us. They are more than worthy of our honor, recognition, and remembrance. They are the Steel Magnolias and they have left us a cherished legacy of courage, dignity, and honor. We must never forget them!